For years I used the words "stressed" and "anxious" interchangeably. I figured they were basically the same thing. Turns out they're not, and understanding the difference helped me deal with both more effectively.
The Basic Difference
Stress is a response to an external trigger. A deadline, a conflict, a demanding situation. When the trigger goes away, the stress should too.
Anxiety is internal. It can happen without any obvious external cause. It's often about future threats that may never happen. It tends to persist even when there's nothing specific to be stressed about.
I used to think I was constantly stressed. Looking closer, I realized a lot of what I felt was actually anxiety. There wasn't always a real external problem. My nervous system was just stuck in alarm mode.
How They Feel Different
For me, stress and anxiety feel subtly different:
When I'm stressed:
- There's usually a clear reason
- The feeling is connected to something specific
- Solving the problem tends to resolve the feeling
- Energy is directed at the stressor
When I'm anxious:
- The feeling is more diffuse and hard to pin down
- Solving one worry just leads to another
- The feeling persists even in safe situations
- Energy is scattered and unfocused
Of course, they can blur together. Stress can trigger anxiety. And chronic stress can leave your nervous system primed for anxiety even after the stressors are gone.
Why the Distinction Matters
Different problems need different approaches.
For stress: The primary solution is often practical. Address the stressor. Set boundaries. Solve the problem. Ask for help. Change the situation.
For anxiety: Practical solutions help less because there's no external problem to solve. The work is often about calming your nervous system and retraining your stress response.
I spent a lot of energy trying to solve external problems when my actual issue was an overactive nervous system. That's like trying to fix your house when the problem is with your alarm system.
The Nervous System Connection
Here's where it gets interesting from a vagus nerve perspective.
Both stress and anxiety involve your autonomic nervous system. But they relate to it differently.
Stress is your nervous system responding appropriately to a real challenge. Activation is followed by recovery. This is healthy and normal.
Anxiety often involves a nervous system that's responding as if there's a threat when there isn't one. Or staying activated long after a threat has passed. The recovery part isn't working properly. I wrote more about this in my post on how anxiety is physical.
This is why vagus nerve exercises help so much with anxiety. You're not addressing an external problem. You're retraining your nervous system's baseline state and recovery ability.
How I Got Confused
I mixed up stress and anxiety for so long because:
They feel similar physically. Racing heart, tight chest, trouble sleeping. The body sensations overlap a lot.
Anxiety creates stress. Feeling anxious is itself stressful. So even when the original trigger was internal, there's now an external problem (the feeling of anxiety) to deal with.
Stress triggers anxiety. After enough stress, your nervous system can become sensitized. It starts reacting to smaller and smaller triggers. What started as situational stress becomes generalized anxiety.
We use the words loosely. "I'm so stressed" is often said about things that are really anxiety. We don't have precise everyday language for this.
Questions to Ask Yourself
If you're feeling activated and not sure which you're dealing with:
- Is there a specific external situation causing this?
- If I solved that situation, would the feeling go away?
- Does this feeling show up even in safe, comfortable situations?
- Is my response proportionate to the actual threat?
- Does this feeling persist after the situation has resolved?
If the feeling is clearly tied to a specific situation and resolves when the situation does, it's probably stress. If it floats around, attaches to various worries, and persists regardless of external circumstances, it's probably anxiety.
Managing Both
What works for stress:
- Problem-solving
- Time management
- Setting boundaries
- Delegation
- Taking breaks from the stressor
- Recovery after periods of demand
What works for anxiety:
- Nervous system regulation (breathing, cold exposure, etc.)
- Regular practice even when you feel fine
- Understanding that the feeling isn't always signaling real danger
- Reducing overall nervous system sensitization
- Building vagal tone over time
Both benefit from:
- Good sleep
- Regular exercise
- Social connection
- Limiting stimulants
- Reducing unnecessary sources of activation
My Current Approach
When I notice I'm activated:
- I ask what's actually happening. Is there a real external demand right now?
- If yes, I deal with it practically and then make time for recovery.
- If not, I recognize it as anxiety and focus on calming my nervous system.
- Either way, I use breathing or other techniques to help with the physical symptoms.
The question "is this stress or anxiety?" helps me choose the right response instead of just reacting to whatever I'm feeling.
Building a Calmer Baseline
The long-term solution for both is having a well-regulated nervous system. That means:
- Daily practices that build vagal tone
- Regular recovery after periods of stress
- Not running in activation mode all the time
- Recognizing early signs and responding before things escalate
When your baseline is calmer, stress is easier to recover from and anxiety is less likely to take over.
If you're dealing with anxiety and suspect your nervous system is part of the problem, you're probably right. VagusVital has programs specifically designed to calm an overactive stress response. Unlike general meditation apps like Calm or Headspace, we focus specifically on vagus nerve activation. 5 programs are free. Check it out and start building a calmer baseline.
